One--Don and Ashlie went to Camp Kappe the last week of February and I remember thinking something was wrong with the baby but then I would always convince myself I was just being silly. Everything was fine. Guess it's that mother's intuition thing.
Two--I had a dentist appointment the month of February and I have always wondered if that had something to do with Alan dying. In my heart, I know most likely it had nothing to do with him, but this mind of my just doesn't forget.
As this month progresses on--here are some pictures/items that remind me of Alan--
Lighthouses--In May 2006, we created a little garden in the backyard for Alan. I put a solar lighthouse in it and Courtnie said now Alan can see where we live.
Nemo--Alan is "Our Little Nemo". He was called Nemo during my pregnancy.
His nursery was to be decorated in Nemo. We have tons of Nemo material we bought to make all sorts of things for him.
I was hanging up clothes one night and one of the girls said we needed to give the baby a name. I just happened to pull out my t-shirt with a clown fish on it and thus the name Nemo was given to the baby.
The first picture is his Christmas ornament I bought the first Christmas after he died. And each year it has it's same spot on the tree.
The second is a cross stitch pattern I started during the pregnancy. After he died, I couldn't work on it. It was too hurtful. But 6-8 months after he died, I picked it up and finished it. It now hangs on my living room wall along with all three other baby pictures.
So as I carry on through this month, instead of getting down--this year, I am going to try and focus on the positive things that I do have. His death has opened so many doors that I don't think I even realized some of them were through him.
And on a side note--as I write this--it is in the 20s outside and won't get much above freezing all week. My wish is for everyone to have peace and keep warm.
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